Thank you!

Dec. 6th, 2013 06:01 pm
melcreada: (all this bullshit)
Big, big HUGS and thanks to everyone who reached out to me about my dad. I have bemoaned the death of LJ, but it's deeply comforting to know some of you are still out there. It's a really nice feeling.

I wish I had good news, but I don't. It seems every time we go to the doctor, the news gets worse and worse. But all in all, my dad is in decent spirits right now and that is all I can ask. They haven't made any firm decisions about treatment yet - every appointment feels like it lasts a year and I want to shake someone and tell them to speak in plain English.

But, as I mentioned to someone earlier, this ain't our first rodeo and from previous, similar situations with both my dad and brother, I can say that nothing yet has been unfamiliar - the waiting, the worry, the back and forth to the hospital, the joking, the frustration, and the knowledge that somehow I have become a caretaker. Thank goodness my sister and, to some extent, my brother are sharing this load because I don't know what I would do otherwise.


Nov. 20th, 2013 07:34 pm
melcreada: (Default)
Just posting this to make it "real." My father stopped eating and lost 30 pounds. He was jaundice so we took him to the hospital. His bile duct was blocked by a tumor.

Fucking shit.

So they put a stent in to clear his bile duct but they don't like how it's looking. He's going to the hospital again tomorrow for 3 days of chemo. I am terrified, but it helps just to write it down and be honest about how I am feeling right now.

Which is scared shitless.
melcreada: (Adult!)

This weekend, I will be drinking smart cocktails and watching Notorious, my favorite Hitchcock movie of all time. I may or may not be wearing a trilby at the time.

No reason, really. Just felt like making some random, silly plan and following it through. Plus it's cheaper than retail therapy. My only problem is what kind of cocktails? I have pomegranate martini mix, but that seems too trendy. Manhattans would fit the time period, but bourbon? Yuck. Plain old martinis and I will be drunker than Ingrid Bergman's character. Decisions, decisions.

melcreada: (all this bullshit)
Crap work week is over, hooray!!! I swear it has been going on for way longer than five days. I am suspicious!

I was horrified to hear that someone allegedly committed suicide at a Swell Season concert last night by diving from some high point at the venue and landing on the stage in the middle of their performance. Not only is it just a terrible thing, but all those people witnessed him...I just can't imagine it. My heart goes out to them.

This weekend is time with familia and next weekend is Nay-nay's birthday party in Austin. Can't wait, although I would seriously like a small chunk of time by myself to do absolutely nothing. Like go to the beach for 3 or 4 days and lie around eating bon bons and drinking beer and reading. You know, classy shit like that.

Speaking of reading, Half-Price books has some coupons floating around - I bought four books and the third season of Dawson's Creek on DVD (don't judge me!) for $16. I freaking love buying books! Especially on sale (sorry, Barnes & Noble).

I also just found the journal of my trip to Japan in 2007. It made me LOL, no lie. Maybe I will post it in bits here for posterity. It's mainly a list of what we did and where we went, but there were a couple of funny little details I had forgotten. I will always be proud of myself for navigating Tokyo on my own for three days when I had never been there before and could not speak the language at all. *little pat on the back*
melcreada: (dc - rated arrrgh!)

Got back from the beach on Monday. Much fun was had by all (I will post a pic or two when I am not feeling like a total lazy ass). The weather was great, the waves were rockin', I drank icy-cold beer, and we ate the best seafood ever. All in all, a great mini-vacay.

The first night we were there, I couldn't sleep and wound up watching My Sister's Keeper. I totally lost it, freaking sobbing like my heart was broken. Terrible, terrible. Ugh. Just typing this, my eyes are welling up with tears. Talk about a total manipulation of every bad feeling I have been having lately.

Speaking of which, no new info on my dad and chemo. Still waiting. This past month has been the longest month of my life. I swear, every day is like a week. I don't even know.

Work continues to suck what is left of my soul, but whatever. I am trying that thing where I don't let stuff bother me. So far, it's not really working, but I'm going to keep at it. They can all fucking suck it.

I just realized I haven't checked my email in forever and the thought just exhausts me, so my sincerest apologies if anyone out there has written me - I will catch up soon, hopefully. Right now, I am just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, so to speak.

And finally, I just watched the Idol finale. I like Lee, but Crystal was robbed. I am more upset that Simon is leaving and that I was DENIED one David Cook appearing on stage. Yes, this is my life and I refuse to apologize for it. Also, Janet Jackson!!! Who thinks she looks and sounds just like her brother? Listening to her sing, though, made me sooo nostalgic for her 90s stuff. My dance team ripped off so many of her dance moves, LOL. I think I am going to go youtube her old stuff. Later, y'all.

ETA: I totally forgot to mention my one great LOL moment of the show - the Alanis/Crystal duet when Crystal sang, Is she perverted like me, would she go down with you to the theater? I swear I nearly peed myself, laughing. Ah, censorship. You always make me giggle like a 12-year-old.
melcreada: (marie antoinette le hangover)
Had fun with the girls last night, although either they are wussies or I am an alcoholic. Jury is still out on that one. We went to Chacho's and had margaritas and a pizza-pan of nachos (so good, OMG!). It was karaoke night and that in and of itself was pretty damn hilarious. There was one little Mexican thug who kept getting up to sing (if you can call it that) and dance to Lil Wayne songs. Hee!

I worked a little this afternoon and it was nice to actually get a project done with absolutely no interruptions. *sigh*

And, no matter what your beliefs on the matter, the fact that a person who claims to be pro-life walked into a church and killed Dr. Tiller (late term abortion doctor) is both ironic and tragic. The whole issue makes me so sad.
melcreada: (at-at pwned)

I am so exhausted, it's ridiculous. I might take a nap after this entry, for reals.

I finally bought my ticket for Wicked. $20 in miscellaneous charges? Really, Ticketmaster? But whatever. I am excited!

JP is at the Star Trek movie, so I thought I would treat myself to a sushi dinner (yum!) and some Zipang sake (double yum!).

And speaking of food, I am reading Tales from the Scale, a cheapie little book I bought because, well I can totally relate.

Cut for whiny, personal introspection about being chubbeh. )

melcreada: (fosters eduardo)

Yoga in the morning and Toblerone in the evening. I'd say it was a full day!

And I wonder why I can't lose weight... (not really)

The other night I spent way too much money on DVDs and CDs at what's left of Circuit City. The result of which is that we have been watching 30 Rock and romantic comedies all weekend and now I am listening to some lovely classical Spanish guitar that is making me sad for some unknown reason.

Huh. I find it amusing that when my sister first moved overseas, she used to send us boxes and boxes of Toblerone and salt and vinegar potato chips, both of which I hated and thought vile but now they are two of my favorite snacks.

That  was much more interesting in my head. I think I'll just stop now.


Feb. 2nd, 2009 09:35 pm
melcreada: (kissing is awesome!)

Happiness Meme, day 7!

- I found a check for $20 that has been at the bottom of my purse for the past three months (a refund from the place we stayed in Cabo). Woo!

In other news, I am very blah. I have no motivation to work out, eat healthy, or return phone calls. Le depressed. Le lame.

I always feel vaguely guilty for being sad; I think I can blame that one on my mother! LOL! She never could understand why I was so moody and emotional. She used to tell me that if I was going to survive in this world, I would need thicker skin. She was right, in a fashion. But I am still, at heart, a big ol' cream puff.

Did see the first disc of Beck Mongolian Chop Squad and enjoyed it very much, even though I have never cared for that art style. Will have to check out the rest.


Oct. 12th, 2008 06:21 pm
melcreada: (three amigos plethora of pinatas)

[ profile] wonderelf  is gone and I am le sad.

But we had a great weekend and did lots of stuff, so that was good. It was so great to see her and spend time catching up with one another. We explored caverns (and mined for precious gems), saw Avenue Q (righteous and we met the adorable guy who played Princeton/Rod), visited the tackiest museum ever (creepy), ate lots of nummy food (urp), and lied to a realtor (hurrah for duplicity and touring homes we can't afford)! We also learned about quilting from some colonial-type ladies at the Alamo, wandered the Riverwalk, and watched about 10 hours of The Venture Brothers.

All in all, time well spent.

Now I am gonna go pout in front of the TV.

Long day...

Aug. 8th, 2008 10:45 pm
melcreada: (samurai champloo jin)
We buried my uncle today. The church was absolutely stunning. Located on the second floor, it had large windows displaying the hill country in all its wild, rough beauty.

I am glad it's all over, though. The grief I feel is not really for myself or even for my uncle's family. It's for my father, who was so close to his brother and yet, cannot express his grief. He's by turns chipper and irritable, quiet and bitter. He's angry; I can see that. But he's also an old-school Mexican man who must be strong and stoic to the people around him, even though it's just us. It's him I cried for today.

I owe some people emails and I haven't forgotten you, I promise! I've just been keeping to myself more than usual lately and that has to do with family stuff and the Kid being in town. I should be back to normal soon enough.

I really should be doing some laundry right now and looking for my copy of The Mummy (lost the DVD somewhere...).

Later, taters.
melcreada: (cooking mama)
Mmm, I just made stir fry with dubious-looking pork and expired veggies! If I end up in the ER later, remember that I always loved you...

I am on the brink of what may well be an overtime bonanza! First, I and my counterpart, Co-Worker That Hates Me (I have renamed her), were given an additional job function and we were told in no uncertain terms that OT was going to be necessary. In addition, Co-Worker That Hates Me is going to be out for surgery in about a month. Um. Hold me? I have a feeling that July is going to suck ass!

But I will milk that OT as long as they let me.

In other news, I went out last night and it was all the excitement of...going to a rundown bar and simultaneously watching Kimbo (really, that's his name?) practically knock some guy's ear off (eww) and listening to the house "band" play really loudly and really badly while trying to drink just enough so that all this didn't bother me. Fun. I am so old, you guys. A few years ago, this would have THRILLED me. *snerk*

Saw Indiana Jones today and loved it! It was better than the second and on par with the third. I'm sorry, but nothing touches the first one. Living overseas with a dearth of good, solid entertainment meant that movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark and Return of the Jedi were the visual equivalent of the Second Coming. Or something. I was just really starved for some good movies, but I guess we could all say that about the early '80s. Heh.

Finally, in spite of my light-hearted snarkiness, I have an overwhelming desire to read poetry and listen to lots of sad music. There is a weight on my chest that I both love and hate and sometimes, you just have to wallow. Poems to wallow by? I like Pablo Neruda, Sylvia Plath, and Rainer Maria Rilke to start things off.

Someone please comment on my lack of American Idol (or specifically David Cook) *squeeage* 'cause I am weaning myself OFF that shit and it is tough! LOL...

I am ridiculous today and the dichotomy is driving me insane!


Feb. 25th, 2008 10:28 pm
melcreada: (tsubasa fai fai)

Well, I am not going to Seattle next month, like I had hoped. I have been sad for over a week now and need to shake myself out of it already. [profile] wonderelf, [profile] nurikot, and [profile] kamidake - I am so sorry I won't get to see ya'll. I hope you have a great time. I want to see pictures, particularly of [profile] nurikot's reactions to the greatness that is Sakura Con!


In other news, just as I suspected, Into the Wild disturbed me greatly. I slept with the lights on for several nights after watching it, the images of that kid starving to death superimposing themselves on what I had already imagined from reading excerpts of the book. I kept seeing him out of the corner of my eye. I totally don't recommend the movie. I'm just saying. Oddly enough, it made me very scared of dying. Which is weird, considering how two of my family members died recently and how close my father and brother have come to dying in years past. And this is what scares me. Huh.

Yes, these are the thoughts that have been preoccupying me for the past week and a half. I'm so chipper!

ANYWAY, other than scaring the shit out of myself, I have been trying not to take life too seriously, as I am wont to do when I get in these "super funks." JP and the Kid's birthdays are coming up. Must finish preparing for that.

I also want to be having this. Hooray, Shakespeare!

And finally, JP asked me earlier who I would prefer to sleep with: Ben Affleck or Matt Damon. It was like asking me if I wanted a pair of Mary Janes or a pair of knee-high boots. The answer is simply, "yes."
melcreada: (tsubasa fai fai)
Longest first two weeks of a new year. EVAR.

Many, many thanks and a great big *hug* to everyone who sent me well wishes. They were very appreciated. And a great big sparkly THANK YOU to [profile] wonderelf for the giftie I received a few days ago. Just made me smile after a long, sad day. ^___^

We buried my grandmother today and while I am okay with her passing, I was crazy stressed being surrounded by family, many of whom I hadn't seen since my childhood and many of whom don't necessarily get along. Everyone was polite, but there were a few moments when I felt the tension.

As anyone who knows me will freely admit, I can be socially awkward in even the best situations. So, spending the whole day being re-introduced to family and making small talk with them was painful at times. There were good moments, too, and laughter. But I hate how standoffish I feel, how out of place, in situations like that. I probably worry about this a lot more than it warrants.

Since I was out from about 8am to 4:30pm, I came home and took a nice little nap and tried to unwind. I feel better now. JP made chicken and dumplings for dinner and then we watched American Idol and the balm to all my woes, The Two Towers extended edition appendices.

Work tomorrow and this weekend I will help my mom go through more stuff and clean a bit, I think. Emails forthcoming as well!

I really, really feel like shoe shopping. I might just have to indulge myself...
melcreada: (carry that weight)
Hot Gimmick ripped off the "socially-inept, abusive boy-child  falls in love with the girl he is bullying" theme from Hana Yori Dango. Y/N?

Still loving HYD and their melodramatic use of Albinoni's Adagio in G Minor. Because that piece of music? Is love! So totally suited for a show like this (which, incidentally, JP calls "creepy" but whatevs). Also, it took until episode 6, but I am back in love with FMP:TSR. Poor Souske! Buck up, little camper! Am impatiently waiting for the last disc because I cannot be arsed to find the episodes elsewhere.
melcreada: (fmp kiss)
Just a quick howdy from Yuma. It's been non-stop action 'round here. LOL...

I wanted to apologize to my friends about Expo - it was a flying visit and I know I missed my chance to hunt ya'll down, something I normally enjoy doing. Next year, though - look out!  ^_~

Two things that I did hear at Expo made me incredibly happy: Right Stuf is releasing the second season of Super Gals (wOOt!) and ADV is handling the production of FMP: TSR, so the dub (my guilty pleasure) will have the original voice actors. Yay!

Best thing I saw in the dealer's room? Giant Voltron, wot wot!!!

Last night we joined some of the Kid's friends in a field to watch fireworks from the nearby fairgrounds. It was nice, although for some reason it made me really miss JP. Can't wait to see you, honey. I am feeling rather homesick right now. And sometimes hanging with all these BP agents reminds me of sad times that I prefer to forget.

Actually, just being in this area makes me reflect in general and right now it's just not something that I care to dwell on; it's just another way to feel bad about myself and who needs that? I am who I am, end of story. There is no point in me reflecting on WHY I am the way that I am. And so on and so forth.

ANYHOO, I have several things to look forward to: coming home this weekend, Monkey Punch at Animefest (I am so going), American Idol concert (Elliott!), and maybe even the con in South Padre. Everything will be alright. I just need to get out of here: the past, she cliiings.


melcreada: (Default)

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