melcreada | Meat, so tasty...

Well, let me just preface this by saying that I went in with an open mind. I heard the singing was atrocious, but I figured the people complaining were the whiners who wanted Michael Crawford to reprise the role. And, let's face it, who's gonna do a better job than M.C.? These critics were probably the same people who pan Sarah Brightman's vocals for being "thin" and "weak" (I happen to think she has a gorgeous set of pipes). So, I went in thinking, 'how bad could it be?'

Baaaaad.

Well, to be fair, the movie is pure eye-candy: sumptuous and lush costumes and sets. Christine does a good job of playing the innocent and bemused singer in a push up bra. Nice cleavage! Raoul is my own personal eye candy, although *I* would have made him cut his hair posthaste. Carlotta totally overracts, but I know what she is trying to convey. Madame Giry is subtle and lovely. The Phantom seems like a pretty good actor and I totally empathized with him for the last 10 minutes of the movie when he wasn't, you know, singing.

Which is where the whole movie just tanks. Christine has a pretty "pop-ish" voice that was pleasant, except for the first aria. Ouch! Raoul has a nice but generic voice. The two could probably put out an album of poptacular hits. However. The Phantom's voice is an abomination. Yes. JP singing in the shower does a better job than this man who had formal training, a symphony orchestra, and modern technology to "smooth" things out ala Ashlee "SNL" Simpson.

Part of the reason I am so disappointed is that the music tells so much of the story. The first time I saw PotO on stage, it was not Michael Crawford. But the actor who played Phantom conveyed his anguish and propelled the story with his awesome voice. I wept and clutched my seat, the unloved and twisted and misunderstood part of me singing right along with him. The Phantom *has* to be the strongest character. He has to make the audience love him and pity him even though he's a kidnapper and murderer. And poor Gerald Butler just tore one of my favorite anti-heroes to shreds with his high-school-production-quality singing.

Gah. Stopping now because I am weird enough without writing a thesis on a Broadway musical remake.

BTW, anyone know what the expression "bang on the ear" means? I love this song, but the title makes no sense to me. Hmmm.