melcreada: (infinite ways to fuck up)

Have a safe and happy New Year's Eve, flist. I plan on lying around, drinking champagne, eating snacks, and watching TV (perhaps a Merlin marathon is in order?).

2010, you have been one bastard of a year. Thanks for making me stronger, but you can go fuck off now. Ring out the false, ring in the true. Or something to that effect. New Year's resolutions about weight, etc. coming up later, when I am not full of Taco Bell.

I did a few more day's worth of that meme:

Nine Things About Yourself

I love cooking and baking but I'm not really gifted - my stuff is good, but not great. I firmly believe that with cooking you either have "it" or you don't and all the practice in the world won't really help. But I'll keep at it anyway. :)

I would like to get married, but I feel like I am getting too old to do the whole white dress, big wedding thing (I couldn't afford it in any case). But it's probably why I love all those wedding shows, LOL!

I think I am addicted to Old Navy.

I would love to be a housewife. I like that there is immediate and visible proof of all the hard work that goes into managing a household.

I like maps and globes. Love examining them, planning routes, and daydreaming about far-off trips.

I think I would like to live in another country for a year or two, but I don't know where.

I don't know how to manage my money, but I am scared to get a financial adviser, because I know the first thing they will say is bring down your debt which means stopping all my frivolous spending. Boo!

In my heart, I am a true slacker. I put in a lot of effort at work but only because I feel guilty if I don't. If I could get away with it, I'd do a whole lot of nothing all day, every day.

In spite of being a slacker, I have a very competitive nature. But competing makes me miserable because if I lose, I will beat myself up and if I win, I won't let myself celebrate. Winning is never enough, which sounds weird but there is always some dissatisfaction when I succeed. So, I try not to compete whenever I can help it.

Eight Ways to Win Your Heart

Watch Pride & Prejudice with me. All the versions.

Jewelry. Yeah, I said it.

Scratch my back.

Take me to the ballet without cringing.

Surprise me.

Be good to my family and friends, even if you can't stand them.

Hold me when I am scared.

Laugh with me, no matter what adventure or misfortune comes our way.

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

My job. Problems, solutions, hatred of the boss, my plans for eventual escape: this stuff eats at my brain constantly.

Money. Worry, worry, worry about money all the time. My parents always had a very cavalier attitude about money and credit and debt. I think I got all the concern and fear that they never felt.

My dad. He is getting to the point where he won't be able to care for himself much longer and my mother won't be able to take care of him, either. How to care for a man who won't admit that he needs help is a huge problem that I am always circling around in my mind.

Vacation! Yes, I am already planning my next couple of vacays because it gives me something to look forward to and helps me get out of bed in the morning.

The house. The house needs a lot of work done and trying to decide what to do first and how to get the most bang for my buck has me paralyzed and over-analytical all at once. Trying to decide whether or not to re-fi also has me in a quandary.

My to-do list. Constantly running through my mind like a stock ticker, all my plans for the house and undone errands and never-ending chores constantly poke at me.

My career. I want to change my career, but don't know what I want to do. I can't believe I still don't know what I want to be when I grown up. >_< Most recent top three are: technical writer (I'm good at it, work will pay for my Masters); librarian (I will have to pay for the degree and I hear competition is fierce); ESL teacher for the government (again I would have to pay for the degree and I'd mainly be doing it to travel).

Date: 2011-01-02 10:32 am (UTC)From: [identity profile]
I was going to specifically select things in this entry that I completely agree with and post them back in this comment, but there are too many! I think 2010 was too much stagnation for me that it eventually became utter hell. Glad it's over, hoping for better.

I also want to be a financially-savvy housewife - my secret ultimate goal - and I too beat myself up about both not trying hard enough and the burdens of having succeeded. I will never go easy on myself, which is why I want to be a housewife and limit my obligations to washing the laundry. How much criticism could I possibly have for myself then?

Yes I totally feel this entry. :)

Date: 2011-01-03 06:12 am (UTC)From: [identity profile]
Twins! &hearts &hearts &hearts


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