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I got this?
I couldn't sleep last night. My anxiety is starting to piss me off.
But the weird part is, I am not just afraid of losing my job and losing the house and having to start all over again from scratch. I am also afraid of never finding a career that I really and truly want to do. I am just so ambivalent. I was raised to believe that work was not something to be enjoyed. It was something you did and you did it with 100% effort, no matter if it was running a business or digging ditches. I am looking at all these master's degrees and not one of them sounds the least bit helpful. Oh poor me with too many decisions, LOL! I don't know. I just need to pay the fucking bills. Everything else is negotiable.
*le sigh*
In other news, I made some awesome spaghetti marinara tonight, with grilled Italian turkey sausage and fresh sauteed veggies. Yummy! I have leftovers for days.
I spent my work day tied to my desk at home, swamped and irritable. Yes, it was a Monday!
The good news is that I washed all the dishes, am planning a quick run to the grocery store, and then...laundry!!! I can do this because I am off tomorrow. Hooray!
Now, I am going to drive away in my jeep and take a minute just to breathe...
no subject
As probably does not surprise, I totally absolutely completely sympathize with you on this. This sentiment really resonates with me. Really feel for you in all this worry and uncertainty.
Stupid thing is, is getting music-from-6th-grade stuck in my head with old Wham music that I haven't listened to in like two decades harping "Do you enjoy what you do / If not, just stop / Don't stay there and rot" or whatever. And all I can think is "dammit, I need money and insurance and I screwed up/can't do what I sorta liked anymore shut up very young George Michael" :p It's all just so argh and gah and rrrr, isn't it? : /
Anyway, sendin good thoughts and hugs your way. :F
no subject
I know you feel me, girl. ^_~
Heh, I've got that U2 song 'Stuck in a Moment' um...stuck in my head. The words just seem to fit my current ARGH/worry mood and I enjoy playing it and yelling at Bono for his Captain Obvious lyrics.