God, I'm old...

I was thinking of joining tumblr and Pottermore (early!) but upon arriving at both sites I (wait for it)...COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE DIRECTIONS.

The internet had to explain it to me, both times.

I swear I am not a moron.

Exhibit A: when I saw "URL" on the tumblr site, I thought I had to enter a separate, personally-owned URL and I was all, "Motherfucker, that's why I'm coming here!" A simple "enter what you would like your tumblr URL to look like" would have been nice. A FAQ that had this statement would also be acceptable.

Exhibit B: I solved the effin' clue on Pottermore, but every time I tried to make the jump to the secret site (LOL that I am actually saying this), I kept getting some retarded parseltongue translator. Some nice person took pity on me and sent me the link. Yay, I joined Pottermore!

I am going to lie down now because the internet is too hard for me...