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I bought a fiber optic tree for the apartment and it's absolutely hypnotic. In a Rowen-and-Martin's-Laugh-In-Timothy-Leary-LSD-trip-lava-lamp kinda way. *giggle*
I am actually kinda down. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE this time of year. The cold weather and Christmas shopping. Trimming the tree at my parent's house and birthday suprises from friends who understand that I DETEST combination birthday/Christmas gifts and celebrations. I love sitting up late at night amidst wrapping paper and gifts, laughing at something one of my siblings said. I always enjoy turning off all the lights to admire the Christmas tree and watching old movies in the back room as the house settles around me.
But I think that all the intense upbeat emotions must be tempered with these low patches. I feel bad about it. I mean, really, I am lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life, a good job, a comfortable life. But, if the heart is heavy, I just have to wallow a bit. *grin*
Maybe I have been spending too much money. Maybe I am stressed because JP's gifts have STILL not arrived at his house. Perhaps the thought of turning 30 is a bigger deal than I am willing to admit. Or maybe once again, I feel stuck. Dunno. But for the past day or so I have been waaaay emotional. I am tearing up at the drop of a hat. Wuss.
Also, I am not going to the big Christmas bash my company is holding. It's Saturday night and that's the only time the Kid can help trim the tree and then Paul said she would cancel a dancing gig so she could join us, so I said I would be there. It is the family after all. Next year I will go to the party. And have JP on my arm. *wink*
Well, in more grateful news I would just like to say that I am greatly indebted to the following people:
- Momster for always putting things in perspective for this melodramatic fool
- JP for rescuing me in all kinds of ways and enabling me to be as generous as I want this Christmas
- Cindy for generously offering me one of her new cels because I was so bummed about missing it for what felt like the millionth time
- the Kid for making me laugh when I wanted to cry
- my live journal buddies for letting me peek into their worlds and forget my own for awhile
The list goes on, but I'll stop now 'cause I'm getting all maudlin. I think it's time for popcorn and a movie. Maybe 'While You Were Sleeping' or 'Charlie Brown Christmas.'
I am actually kinda down. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE this time of year. The cold weather and Christmas shopping. Trimming the tree at my parent's house and birthday suprises from friends who understand that I DETEST combination birthday/Christmas gifts and celebrations. I love sitting up late at night amidst wrapping paper and gifts, laughing at something one of my siblings said. I always enjoy turning off all the lights to admire the Christmas tree and watching old movies in the back room as the house settles around me.
But I think that all the intense upbeat emotions must be tempered with these low patches. I feel bad about it. I mean, really, I am lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life, a good job, a comfortable life. But, if the heart is heavy, I just have to wallow a bit. *grin*
Maybe I have been spending too much money. Maybe I am stressed because JP's gifts have STILL not arrived at his house. Perhaps the thought of turning 30 is a bigger deal than I am willing to admit. Or maybe once again, I feel stuck. Dunno. But for the past day or so I have been waaaay emotional. I am tearing up at the drop of a hat. Wuss.
Also, I am not going to the big Christmas bash my company is holding. It's Saturday night and that's the only time the Kid can help trim the tree and then Paul said she would cancel a dancing gig so she could join us, so I said I would be there. It is the family after all. Next year I will go to the party. And have JP on my arm. *wink*
Well, in more grateful news I would just like to say that I am greatly indebted to the following people:
- Momster for always putting things in perspective for this melodramatic fool
- JP for rescuing me in all kinds of ways and enabling me to be as generous as I want this Christmas
- Cindy for generously offering me one of her new cels because I was so bummed about missing it for what felt like the millionth time
- the Kid for making me laugh when I wanted to cry
- my live journal buddies for letting me peek into their worlds and forget my own for awhile
The list goes on, but I'll stop now 'cause I'm getting all maudlin. I think it's time for popcorn and a movie. Maybe 'While You Were Sleeping' or 'Charlie Brown Christmas.'
