You're so Vain, You Probably Think this LJ is About You

 It feels weird to be posting an update (of any kind)...the last time I wrote something in an online journal, I had not gone to India or Nepal or Bhutan. My brother-in-law was alive, as were my kitties Ohno and Jiji. The last time I posted was two jobs ago. We were still reeling from my father's death. JP was relatively well and mobile. I only had 1 nephew. We had a president I was not ashamed of. Truly, a closed chapter now.

The world turns and I'm just hanging on for dear life. But I thought I would try broadcasting again. Into the ether and whatever handful of folks still remain out there. :) I miss live journal and the days when it was okay for us to have opinions that were not drawn along political party lines. As liberal as I have always been, I have been accused of not being liberal enough. The irony stings and frightens me at the same time. 

I'm older, but not wiser. I drink more. I am sadder than I used to be. None of this feels scary, though. It just feels like a natural progression. I feel angry sometimes and it almost makes me happy to know that the fire hasn't been put out yet. 

JP and I still laugh and poke fun at things...it gets us through the day. I worry that when he goes he will take my ability to laugh at the absurdity of life. Without that, I don't know what I will do.

I still have my family. The Kid and his wife now have four kids, all as dear to me as if they were my own. They are funny little things, each one so distinct and unique, I look forward to knowing them now and finding out who they will become. I am acutely aware, as I was with the Kid, that I cannot make this life easier for them and hope that their heartbreaks will be few and far between.

Work is work and I am lucky to have a steady job. My mom, Davy Boy, and JP could be better, but I have them now and am determined to enjoy being with them as long as possible. The last of the original four kitties, Kyo, has seen better days but as long as he eats and plays fetch, I know he is okay. 

Wow, this is way more depressing than I had planned. But it feels good to get it out. If I am not a total lazy ass, I will download some pics of my three months in India and travels to Bhutan and Nepal...

We buried my uncle today. The church was absolutely stunning. Located on the second floor, it had large windows displaying the hill country in all its wild, rough beauty.

I am glad it's all over, though. The grief I feel is not really for myself or even for my uncle's family. It's for my father, who was so close to his brother and yet, cannot express his grief. He's by turns chipper and irritable, quiet and bitter. He's angry; I can see that. But he's also an old-school Mexican man who must be strong and stoic to the people around him, even though it's just us. It's him I cried for today.

I owe some people emails and I haven't forgotten you, I promise! I've just been keeping to myself more than usual lately and that has to do with family stuff and the Kid being in town. I should be back to normal soon enough.

I really should be doing some laundry right now and looking for my copy of The Mummy (lost the DVD somewhere...).

Later, taters.

Have been running around like a mad person, working and spending my time off either helping mom at grandma's house or just being with her because she is a little down.

Busy, busy little bee, as my father used to say whenever he would come across me engrossed in a book/homework/project.

At grandma's, I found a pair of pretty, old fashioned champagne/martini (?) glasses that are shown in a picture of my grandparents toasting each other. I thought they would make a nice wedding gift for the Kid, along with a copy of that picture. Also found some Texas-themed glasses for him, seeing as he loves all things Lone Star State-related.

My mother gave me some of my grandmother's costume jewelry, but the best thing I found that no one else seemed to want were a couple of partially disintegrated notebooks that included, among other things, a hand-written family tree going back a few generations and some notes on my grandma's life. I am going to transcribe them and hand them out to anyone who is interested. I'm very excited because I had interviewed her in the past and, like an idiot, lost the notes and the paper I wrote. I also found a diary of my aunt's from the late 1940s, but we gave that back to her.

It's hard going through grandma's things, but funny too, as we are finding all kinds of stuff that takes us back to childhood and happy memories seem to be scattered throughout the tiny, rundown old house.

This Sunday we went to see 27 Dresses, which was cute and predictable fun. I then took a couple of movies to my mom's house and hung out with her. We watched The Queen and Marie Antoinette. I was disappointed in The Queen because I had really high expectations (it had been nominated for lots of awards). I found it rather snooze-worthy. Which is pretty damn insane, considering my overdeveloped interest in the British monarchy. Helen Mirren was great, though. Made me feel sympathy for the Queen, which can't be an easy thing to do.

Marie Antoinette was lovely eye candy, but not much else. All those desserts! LOL... I actually thought it was a depressing movie, mainly because you already know the ending. However, Sophia Coppola gets all my love and a box of chocolates for using New Order on her soundtrack for the movie. I dug around and FINALLY found my New Order CDs so I could hear Ceremony. *lurves*

I am so old, for reals. Somebody, please humor me and tell me you love New Order, too! ^_~

So far, 2008 has not been so good. My grandma died this morning. And although it was expected, we were all taken a little off guard. She was very old and she didn't know most of us anymore, and she was unhappy a lot, so I can't say that I'm sorry she has passed. She outlived all her siblings, her husband, and even some of her children and grandchildren. It was her time to go. I thought it was fitting that she died on what would have been her 76th wedding anniversary.

My mom asked if I would call the funeral home and cemetery to make appointments for her and my aunt and all I could think was that someday I would be doing this for my own parents. And in that moment, I really and truly felt like an adult.

Icky.

In lighter news, and I have to talk about something fluffier or else I will get really depressed, the kitties did their best to cheer me up and Spike succeeded with his continuing determination to climb into all of my handbags: