Life is short. Eat the dang ding dong! And see, this is where I get into trouble...

[melcreada]

I am so exhausted, it's ridiculous. I might take a nap after this entry, for reals.

I finally bought my ticket for Wicked. $20 in miscellaneous charges? Really, Ticketmaster? But whatever. I am excited!

JP is at the Star Trek movie, so I thought I would treat myself to a sushi dinner (yum!) and some Zipang sake (double yum!).

And speaking of food, I am reading Tales from the Scale, a cheapie little book I bought because, well I can totally relate.

It's a good read, but a couple of the stories hit way too close to home. My story isn't all that much different from these women, but just seeing it there in print me made me feel a little better about my weird and unhealthy relationship to food. I try and be good, but old patterns and thought processes are so easy. I really related to one particular story about a woman who grew up sneaking food. That was me. A big family with limited resources and both of my parents commenting on how much I ate (out of love, but who the Hell can see that when they are 10?) made secret eating a thrilling habit. I still do it sometimes, tiptoeing into the kitchen even though I am an adult and in charge of the decisions I make. Like I expect my dad to jump out from behind the fridge and tell me to drop the chips and soda. I remember growing up, my beautiful sister and brother who ate and ate and had not one ounce of fat on their bodies and me, chubby and sullen and feeling like Jabba the Hutt to their Luke and Leia. I could probably write about this forever, but I won't. Right now I feel like I am blaming my family, which is not my intent. I am just trying to put into words the random thoughts rolling around in my head.

Comments

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

I was chubby and sullen too, stuck in between a slightly older Brain and a slightly younger Beauty. It was a no-win situation. And I snuck food like crazy too.

[joseishijin.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I feel your pain.

My sister was the Beauty, my younger brother was the Baby, my older brother was beautiful AND smart, and I was just the smart-ass. LOL...