You're so Vain, You Probably Think this LJ is About You

Dearest Rotting Pipes,

While I know you think it's a HOOT to back water up through the downstairs toilet at the drop of a hat, let me assure you: I am not amused. Sure, it's funny to watch JP and I scream and holler and run for towels and mops and the wrench to loosen the safety valve out front. I can hear the rusty chuckles as JP snakes the sludge-filled pipe out front while we make poo jokes and pour lots of bleach and water everywhere, hoping to God the wild animals that live in the fields across the way don't get a whiff and decide to come calling. Of course, the joy of washing all the towels in the waterlogged bathroom and scrubbing mystery crud off the toilet just capped off the evening, but rest assured: I can and will have you dug up and replaced. Consider this your final warning.

Huh.

Thank God for JP. If I had to snake that drain myself, I would still be under a scalding hot shower right now.

Feeling a little less sick though, so um. Yay?